i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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