she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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