Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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