I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We don't watch enough power rangers
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
