i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
