I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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