it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
