he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
