did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
