and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
