I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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