If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
