I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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