My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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