Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
