Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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