So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
