Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
