Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
