my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
