I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i love accidental penises.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
