I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
