But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
