You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
