Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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