Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
