she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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