My cat gives me a boner
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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