I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
