he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
