i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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