you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
