I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
