He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
