What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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