You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
