No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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