Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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