he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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