That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
