She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
