if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
