hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
