Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
