I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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