If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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