I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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