Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
