Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
