He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
