:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
