he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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