could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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