On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
there is glitter all over my balls
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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